Misinformation is running rampant in our streets and in our newsfeeds! We are being manipulated and outside influence is taking hold of our personal decisions like what to buy and even who to vote for. Even works of art like classic songs can have misleading messages. These timeless works of aural expression can build good faith with us through their enchanting melody and maybe even a sick-ass fuckin’ gibberish rap intro, only to take advantage of that good faith when our guards and mullets are down.
Fortunately, we know that our favorite song, Kid Rock’s trailer park party anthem “Bawitdaba,” would never betray us like that. But, just to be safe, we fact-checked it anyway and we’re pleased to report it’s all 150% true.
Lyric: “My name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid…Kid Rock!”
Fact check: Accurate as FUCK and we are so pumped up right now.
Lyric: “Bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy.”
Fact check: Fact. These are the most closely studied and fervently debated of all the “Bawitdaba” lyrics. We interviewed dozens of linguists, mathematicians, and scientists to evaluate their veracity, including the world’s leading authority on Kid Rock lyrics.
“It’s unquestionably true!” Dr. Ben Royce explained to us while scrawling complicated formulas on a chalkboard. “We know for a fact that ‘bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy’ because ‘the boogy’ said it! The boogy said, ‘up jump the boogy!’ It’s science and it simply can’t be denied. Hey, did I tell you guys I have a real-life stethoscope? Come on, let’s go up to my room and check it out!”
Lyric: “And this is for the questions that don’t have any answers/The midnight glancers and the topless dancers/The candid freaks, cars packed with speakers/The Gs with the 40s and the chicks with beepers.”
Fact check: True. Painstaking research by our staff confirms that Kid Rock’s music is intended for midnight glancers, topless dancers, candid freaks, Gs with 40s, and chicks with beepers. In fact, we have an Aunt Krystal who loves Kid Rock too and she is all of those things.
Lyric: “All you bastards at the IRS/For the crooked cops and the cluttered desks.”
Fact check: Confirmed. The IRS are bastards, cops are crooked, and desks are cluttered. Ours, for example, is covered with printouts of late ‘90s song lyrics we found on Angelfire fansites.
Lyric: “You can look for answers but that ain’t fun/Now get in the pit and try to love someone.”
Fact check: Accurate. Spending 3 months heading a research team to examine the lyrics to “Bawitdaba” was not fun. On the plus side, it did help us reconnect with certain members of our family who can only be reached via beeper. We love you, Aunt Krystal!