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We Didn’t Sit Down With a Cop Because I’m Not About to Die for a Fucking Interview

Today I was slated to have an in-depth discussion with a Minneapolis police officer about the situation on the ground and how he feels about recent events, but I’m not a fucking idiot so it’s not happening.

I was probably going to ask questions about how he as an officer is going to personally help keep other officers in line, maybe one about how he and his colleagues can help rebuild relations in the community, and more. But you know what? Fuck that noise. I’m a first-generation, Somali American, Muslim—not exactly a cop’s best friend. I’m not in the mood to get shot for reaching into my backpack for a notebook.

I would rather interview Phil Spector in an undisclosed dark basement than interview any Minneapolis police officer in broad daylight.

Here’s a snippet of how the interview would have gone:

The Hard Times: Thank you for taking the time to…
Cop: Get down on the ground!
Woah! I’m just here to interview you, I made an appointment!
Stop resisting! 
I’m not resisting! 
He’s got a gun!
This is a Zoom recorder!

 

Best case scenario I walk away with my life and a broken Zoom recorder. Pass.

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