Oh, hell yeah! We landed an interview with one of the most legendary frontmen in all of hardcore, Ian MacKaye! Good thing our intern Nathan spotted him pulling his 1998 Ford Escort out of the Wisconsin Avenue Trader Joe’s while we were going to stock up on those bomb-ass Chili and Lime Rolled Tortilla Chips.
Granted, we were a little hasty making our way over to him, but we certainly hope you enjoy the ensuing back-and-forth.
The Hard Times: Oh wow, Mr. MacKaye, it’s truly such an honor to meet you!
Ian MacKaye: Dude, what the fuck? You were going like 45 MPH in a goddamn parking lot. You’re going to get someone killed driving like that!
HT: It’s a well-known fact that you’re not really comfortable being seen as the founding father of the Straight Edge lifestyle, but can you at least admit that you started something way bigger than you could have ever imagined with just one song?
IM: What? Sorry, I was getting my insurance info out of my glove compartment. Why aren’t you doing the same thing?
HT: We were just wondering how you feel about single-handedly starting a movement that millions of people follow to this day.
IM: I have no interest in talking about that. I just want to exchange insurance information so I can go home to my family.
HT: Oh, we don’t have insurance. How do you feel about the direction hardcore music took after you had such an unmatched impact on the creation of it?
IM: You don’t have insurance?!
HT: OK, it’s time for the kicker. Which do you prefer: Minor Threat or Fugazi? You can be honest with us here.
IM: I can’t fucking believe this. I’m calling the police right now, and I wrote down your license plate in case you try to flee the scene.
HT: “Flee the scene” of an exclusive interview with a pioneer of the genre of music our magazine covers? Yeah right!
IM: Can’t you see I’m on the phone? Please be quiet.
HT: Oh shit, you’re calling the cops?
IM: Yes. Again, shut up.
HT: Oh, please don’t involve law enforcement in this interview. It looks like we have about $7 in quarters in our cupholder, as well as an Impossible Whopper that Nathan hasn’t unwrapped yet. Do you think that will cover the damages?
IM: Jesus Christ.
HT: Oh wait, he did unwrap it. But we swear he hasn’t bitten into it yet. Ian? Ian?
It was at this point that Ian completely ignored us until the cops came. We won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say this wasn’t how we envisioned the interview going. And that’s exactly what it was: an interview. You can’t prove otherwise. Also, feel free to join the Patreon if you can, because we really did a number on his rear bumper and need all the money we can get.
