Somebody call Harmony Cobel and Mr. Milchick, because apparently it’s not just the employees of Lumon Industries that get to live that “Severance” life!
Recently, 29-year-old barista April Morales performed something of a procedure on herself while working a shift at her local coffee shop. You see, this young lady has gotten so high at work that she literally cannot remember who she really is. It’s giving Season One Helly R. vibes, and we’re loving it!
While it’s not clear if April is a fan of the hit Apple TV series, or even aware of it, or even aware of anything, she is clearly all about that innie/outie life. So does her coffee shop have any weird and kooky secrets like Lumon Industries does? When asked, Morales replied through stifled laughter, “Dude, I lowkey don’t even know what this place is right now. Deadass.” After erupting into a full giggle fit, she composed herself and stated, “I know there’s coffee here, but is that like our whole thing? Cause coffee can be lots of places even if it’s not, like, the store’s main thing, right?” She then added, “Am I being weird right now?”
So what was “the procedure” like? Was it as invasive and creepy as the one on “Severance”? According to Morales, not at all. “I can’t remember all the details of how it worked, obviously. All I know is it had something to do with the walk-in freezer and the one girl who works in the back and likes to play Sublime on the Bluetooth speaker.”
So what about her “outie”? Does April have any idea what her life is like? After a long quizzical stare at the ceiling that went on so long that we had to ask if she was alright, she replied, “Yeah, I mean, she gets high as fuck, right? She sounds cool to me then, I guess.”
Like we said, major Helly R. vibes!
