Price gouging for streaming services has reached a point of absurdity. That’s why I broadened my horizons for what I am entertained by, and you can, too! Because you know what’s always free? Watching the people that you care about ruin their lives while you kick back and enjoy the show.
I’ve always been a reality TV fan (sorry, not sorry). There are few things that I love more than the thrill of watching some rich piece of shit faced with an eminently solvable problem that still manages to ruin their day. Cooking show drama is at its peak when some alleged chef believes they can make a risotto in fifteen minutes like an asshole. However, my tastes in the genre became refined concurrently with my funds being siphoned from my account with an expedience not seen since the great depression. I found that all reality TV just wasn’t raw enough for my taste. So, still needing my thirst for real-time drama satiated, I discovered the realest reality of all. Because what could possibly be more visceral than watching someone that I personally know ruin their lives?
Not only is it an absolute gas to watch people you care about slip into psychotic conspiracy theory ideologies, or go on racist tirades and lose their jobs, but it’s also free, and you can watch it anywhere you get a signal!
Who cares what the Kardashians are doing when I can watch a dear friend spend every spare dollar they make on schedule one narcotics and then post about their connections to a higher power or some drug-addled bullshit that sounds like if the Joker wrote manifestos for NPR?
Love is Blind looks like amateur hour compared to seeing story after story posted of a friend returning to their dogshit partner and then announcing that they’re gonna have a baby now! That’s entertainment for years to come, and it can’t get cancelled! Project Runway has nothing on seeing my best friend from middle school get a face tattoo of a crucifix.
Move over, Masterchef, because one of my friends just spent all their money on a “cultivating the divine masculine within” retreat in LA and got stabbed and left for dead!
So, don’t lament, reader. Unbeatable entertainment is all around you. All you have to do is care enough to look for it, but not enough to do anything about it.
