Hey you! Gen Z’r, with the Sex Pistols sticker on you laptop. Are you truly a Pistols fan, or just trying to look cool?! And yeah, you heard right, I call them just ‘the Pistols’ because I’m that familiar with them. Does that shock and disturb you, poser-boy?!!
If you’re truly a fan, then go ahead, name three albums. Ohhhhh, wow, you got ‘Nevermind the Bullocks.’ Big round of applause for the professor of punk rock studies over here! How about naming one everyone, including my grandma, doesn’t know?! No? Can’t you? Big surprise.
Anyway, I guess that sticker is just there to impress your little 35-and-under friends? It must feel really subversive that you know a punk band with “sex” in its name, huh? You probably don’t even get that they’re promoting inercourse in like an ironic kind of way, not in like a sex-positive kind of thing. I mean, if anything, they were shaming people who were good-looking enough to have regular sex.
But no, you’re a true punk, right? With a Sex Pistols sticker right next to a ‘’Fight for those Without your Privilege’ one? Well, hate to tell you, pal, but real punk back in the day was about being rude and obnoxious, not all this bulllshit ‘acceptance’ crap. We stood for snotty noses and disgusting toilets, not pronouns and ‘voting.’ Ugh, how embarrassing. If you want to make the world a better place, hippism is that a-way.
Shoot, you probably don’t even know the real Sex Pistols line-up, and no, this new ‘Sex Pistols with Frank Carter’ or whatever his name is nonsense doesn’t count. There is only one true lead singer for the Sex Pistols, and his name is Sid Vicious. I mean, has this Frank Carter guy ever even been accused of fatally stabbing his girlfriend in a drug haze?
This John Lyndon guy online said it best; it’s just ‘Karaoke Pistols’ at this point. By the way, I’m starting to suspect this John Lydon fellow may be in cahoots with Johnny Rotten; he sure does sing his praises often.
