Your nightmare has become a reality. Your favorite artist just named the band you hate more than anything else in this world as their inspiration. No war, disease, or atrocity is worse than finding out a sucky band is the reason your hero makes music. This conflicting information may have you questioning your musical judgment or even your general sense of self. In severe cases, you may spiral into a full-blown identity crisis. Fortunately, as music snobs, we’re here to lend our expertise in keeping your psyche together after deciding that the band you based your identity around actually sucks.
You have identified as punk since you were a toddler. You’ve been moshing since before you could walk. You eat, sleep, and breathe this shit. But now, your favorite band said their biggest influence is a bunch of pop-punk dorks who dress like they’re still in high school and write songs about girls who are still in high school. It’s normal to feel like everything you understand about life has been a lie. You need immediate self-care. Meditation, self-reflection, and deep breathing can help you to focus on finding a new purpose in life. Also, you might want to start smoking again.
Many people who experience an identity crisis start altering their values to match their environment. You may try to convince yourself that the band you hate isn’t so bad after all. Maybe you just need to give them another try. This might take a few attempts, but don’t get disheartened. The songs you grow to love never stick at first.
We hope our advice will bring you some comfort and support during this time. If not, you can always deny the interview ever existed. Just like you do with their latest three albums.