Skinny binches you’ve been warned, the reign of the fat queen is at hand! Pop punk sensations Juice Monkey have announced that the video for their new song “The Bus To Busttown” will be presenting a fat woman as a sexual object right alongside the standard thin dancers.
The video will feature seven women — including one BBW goddess — naked and painted like sex robots simulating fellatio on the band while wearing blindfolds; proving once and for all that fat women are fully sexual creatures worthy of the male gaze. You go girls!
We dropped by the set for some exclusive interviews with the pioneers behind this groundbreaking work of body positivity.
“We’re very happy to be able to sell a whole new generation of young men an oversimplified, service-oriented version of female sexuality that includes fat women,” said producer Guy Dickholder. “It’s time. “Yass male feminist king!
This may be Juice Monkey’s first foray into fat sexy slay, but some heroic members of the band have been championing fat acceptance for a while. Swoonworthy frontman Scrud Humpley has been cushion pushin’ since before their big break.
“I always felt so alone in my love of the fat feminine form,” he said. “All through senior year of high school, I had to hide the fact that I was making out with Hefty Betsy in the art closet on my third-period spare because I was so afraid of the ridicule I would face if people knew I was a chubby chaser. I hope that this video will empower young boys to be more open about and even proud of the types of girls they get off to.”
Omg, the thought of emo teenaged Scrud hiding his true self from the world has us literally weeping. We would have gained the freshman fifteen for you early, Scrud.
Kelsey Fletcher, the big fat boss bitch who will be featured in the video, was discovered by the band when she applied for a sound tech position on their last tour.
“I was not expecting them to ask me to be in a video,” she said on a break from shooting to touch up her butthole makeup. “I was like this has to be a mistake or a prank, no one has ever called me sexy before. But since we started rehearsing I’ve come to realize that I am worthy of being called sexy. I do have a desirable body. I am a valuable commodity.”
Get it Kelsey! You can’t stop a twenty ton truck. This girl is fat, fierce, and fucking up the thiniarchy and we are Here. For. It. We’re hells jells of all that juicy Juice Monkey dick you’re gonna get at the wrap party, Queen. Save a slice for us!
“The Bus To Busttown” drops next week. A portion of ad proceeds from the video will be donated to Hogs For Hogs, Juice Monkey’s charity that provides unsolicited dick pics to plus sized women.