One day you’re a kid riding your bike to the park and the next you’re an adult on your knees pleading with God to show you a reason worth living for. Aging happens to all of us. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found I cannot find a single ounce of joy in any aspect of my life. Upon reflection, and with the wisdom of age, I realized this is all because liking things would have gotten me bullied when I was younger.
I remember the first time I expressed interest in something. I was in preschool and I told everyone my favorite color was blue. I was viciously ridiculed until nap time. And again at snack when my teacher gave me all blue M&Ms.
Then, when I finally was old enough to go to shows, I remember being so excited to see my favorite band perform live. I wore the band’s merch and made a sign and everything. I was still naive though, thinking there was still some jubilation in the world I could cling to with all my might. It was crushed a second later when the bouncer took my sign and threw it like a frisbee. Then he told me to go inside and said he’d beat my ass if I tried enjoying myself.
That was the last time I let myself like something. Now I’m old and depressed. This new generation of kids has it so easy now, with their conscious understanding of mental health issues and supportive peers who encourage others to find happiness in their lives. They don’t have some kid in your ear calling you names like “Chronic Poop” because you said you kinda liked that one song from Sonic Youth.