AUSTIN, Texas — Governor Greg Abbott deployed Texas National Guard troops to combat the rapidly spreading wildfires in the state’s Panhandle, according to his press…
ROHNERT PARK, Calif. — Homeowner Ben Founier admits he’s losing patience with fans who attempt to recreate Ceremony’s famous cover shot outside his house, according…
DALLAS — Cellular giant AT&T’s massive outage caused disruption to vital services and prevented customers from listening to their preferred podcasts and music during their…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Former president Donald Trump teased his top picks for vice president during a recent Mar-a-Lago fundraising event, according to gaudily-dressed sycophants…
NEW YORK — Muscle-bound Harm’s Way vocalist James Pligge scaled the Empire State Building and was seen attacking aircrafts that were sent to force him…
CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. — Hannah and Jack Lungo experienced both anger and relief upon realizing they hadn’t been invited to their friends’ wedding, according to sources…
Meet Andy “The Ronz” Ronzoni: Cheboygan, Minnesota’s coolest resident. He’s got slicked-back hair, rides a killer motorcycle and has a devil-may-care attitude. Sounds a little…
NEW YORK — Spotify dismissed CFO Paul Vogel when a video of him dropping a dollar into a subway busker’s guitar case came to light,…
CINCINNATI — Dinosaur experts gathering for the annual Society of Vertebrate Paleontology conference made the surprising announcement that they still can’t explain how the prehistoric…
WASHINGTON — A new press release from the APA updated the definition of normal psychological well-being to better reflect the realities of life in the…
DUBLIN — Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan passed away after a lengthy illness at age 65, or 112 when converted to Irish Poet years, according to…
DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local delinquent Christine Pritchard surprised friends and family when she somehow obtained a prescription for cigarettes, according to impressed fellow small-time grifters.…
HOUSTON — Soon-to-be retired senator Joe Manchin’s suit was hung from the rafters at ExxonMobil’s headquarters during a tearful farewell ceremony, according to alarmingly wealthy…
BRATTLEBORO, Vt. — Fans of random video chat site Omegle were shocked to find their favorite method of meeting new online friends and seeing random…
MANCHESTER, England — Singer Morrissey’s so-called “evil” identical twin Montgomery is by all accounts a kind, well-liked bloke, according to jolly, red-faced sources at his…