HELSINKI, Finland — University of Helsinki researchers released results of a study showing the Sunday Scaries are gradually encroaching on the earlier days of the…
MILWAUKEE — Prominent businessman, and guest speaker at the Republican National convention, Anthony Winston warned Democrats to tone down their harsh political rhetoric during a…
WASHINGTON — President Biden insists he’s not dropping out of the presidential race even though his head was separated from his body in a freak…
NORTH VERNON, Ind. — Local father of three Steve Whipple sang Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” while grilling for friends and family, even replicating Robert…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Instagram’s PR team apologized recently after a glitch temporarily restored the app to something resembling what it used to be when…
AUSTIN, Texas — Hardcore band Mindforce appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast after they were mistaken for a brain-boosting supplement, according to confused, kettlebell-curling…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Harvard University linguistics professor Anne Pierogi believes she is able to decipher the venerable folk singer’s garbled utterances, report sources who like…
ROCKFORD, Ill. — Beer delivery driver Harrison Fleming thought he was close to making a new friend, bartender Theo Stills, but ultimately alienated Stills by…
SPARKS, Nev. — Local methamphetamine addict Chuck “Bucket” Kane was shocked to discover an invitation to tour a secretive drug lab in his bag of…
SAN FRANCISCO — The author of an upcoming biography of Elon Musk found evidence suggesting his obsession with the letter X is due to it…
MANCHESTER, England — Ex-Smiths bandmates Morrissey and Johnny Marr were spotted in close proximity of one another at the Oxford Road Tesco Express despite almost…
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Conservative metalhead Edgar Hardy insisted that the “woke” interpretation of what life was like as a Powerslave in ancient Egypt is…
ATLANTA — Georgia’s governor has signed a bill prohibiting the act of offering water to thirsty audience members queuing in long merch lines, bewildered legal…
GREELEY, Colo. — Local band Yellowcake Uranium issued a statement on their website’s message board hinting that they’re almost done with their “epic takedown of…
It’s natural to want to express your love for your favorite band, and you want to be comfy when traveling, so a well-worn, beloved band…