LONDON — The Rolling Stones announced the addition of an 18-month old baby in a bid to lower the average age of the band’s members,…
HELSINKI, Finland — University of Helsinki researchers released results of a study showing the Sunday Scaries are gradually encroaching on the earlier days of the…
MILWAUKEE — Prominent businessman, and guest speaker at the Republican National convention, Anthony Winston warned Democrats to tone down their harsh political rhetoric during a…
WASHINGTON — President Biden insists he’s not dropping out of the presidential race even though his head was separated from his body in a freak…
NORTH VERNON, Ind. — Local father of three Steve Whipple sang Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” while grilling for friends and family, even replicating Robert…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Instagram’s PR team apologized recently after a glitch temporarily restored the app to something resembling what it used to be when…
AUSTIN, Texas — Hardcore band Mindforce appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast after they were mistaken for a brain-boosting supplement, according to confused, kettlebell-curling…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Harvard University linguistics professor Anne Pierogi believes she is able to decipher the venerable folk singer’s garbled utterances, report sources who like…
ROCKFORD, Ill. — Beer delivery driver Harrison Fleming thought he was close to making a new friend, bartender Theo Stills, but ultimately alienated Stills by…
SPARKS, Nev. — Local methamphetamine addict Chuck “Bucket” Kane was shocked to discover an invitation to tour a secretive drug lab in his bag of…
SAN FRANCISCO — The author of an upcoming biography of Elon Musk found evidence suggesting his obsession with the letter X is due to it…
MANCHESTER, England — Ex-Smiths bandmates Morrissey and Johnny Marr were spotted in close proximity of one another at the Oxford Road Tesco Express despite almost…
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Conservative metalhead Edgar Hardy insisted that the “woke” interpretation of what life was like as a Powerslave in ancient Egypt is…
ATLANTA — Georgia’s governor has signed a bill prohibiting the act of offering water to thirsty audience members queuing in long merch lines, bewildered legal…
GREELEY, Colo. — Local band Yellowcake Uranium issued a statement on their website’s message board hinting that they’re almost done with their “epic takedown of…