Hardline Straight Edge Kid Wakes From Coma to Unplug IV
BRYN MAWR, Pa. -- Doctors report hardline straight edge kid Cody “Tonks” Tonkinson awoke briefly following his sixth day in…
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The Hard Times Staff — Page 62
917 stories found
Bill Clinton’s Ska Band Looking Forward to Eight More Years of Practicing in White House Garage
WASHINGTON -- With Hillary Clinton’s steady rise in the 2016 Presidential election polls, former President Bill Clinton is optimistic he…
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Man with G Clef Tattoo Must Be a Musician or Something
BROOKLYN -- The new, fresh-faced barista with the prominent G-clef on his forearm at the Pure Grind Coffee Roaster in…
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Northwest High School Battle of the Bands Will Be to the Death
BURLINGTON, Vt. – In hopes of renewing interest in extracurricular arts programs, Northwest High School has announced that its 34th…
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Man Who Brought Boogie Board to Show Stabbed to Death Outside Venue
MINNEAPOLIS – Local man Dylan Olsen was brutally stabbed to death outside of punk venue The Sink Hole when it…
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Polyamorous Man Clearly Only In Love With Himself
BERKELEY, Calif. -- Polyamorous man Rick Walcott is reportedly enlightened and open-minded enough “to love multiple people” but instead chooses…
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Legendary Frontman Proudly Recites Age of Consent in All 50 States
RENO, Nev. -- While hardcore fans around the world know Gary Ridgefield as the outspoken frontman of legendary band Not…
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Convicted Murderer Clearly Hoping Testimony Gets Used on Grindcore Album One Day
WACO, Texas — Convicted murderer James Wellington's bone-chilling confession surrounding the dismemberment of four hitchhikers in 2013 was clearly designed to attract…
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San Francisco Panhandlers Now Accepting Square
SAN FRANCISCO -- Devin “Buggy” Baxter, a longtime panhandler in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco, announced via cardboard sign…
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Bassist with Wireless System Journeys Off-Stage to Find New Trade Route with India
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Matt Neally, the bassist of Deceit, is reportedly 3,000 nautical miles south of the Equator in the…
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