The Hard Times Staff, Author at HARDTIMES

December 5, 2017

OK, White women besides me, we need to talk: you need to open your eyes and stop. Doing. These. Five.…

November 30, 2017

Look, maybe I don’t dress like it anymore, or go to shows often (or ever), but that doesn’t mean I’m…

November 30, 2017

There are a lot of reasons why I don’t tell people I’m a squirter. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,…

November 26, 2017

My name is Bert Wilson and I have a message for NFL commissioner Roger Goodell: put an end to all…

November 22, 2017

HANSON, Mass. — Local punk Brandon Gardner will continue his annual Thanksgiving tradition of hiding from his family in his…

November 20, 2017

WASHINGTON — A new wave of allegations was brought against President Trump today, now under investigation for pardoning a turkey…

November 14, 2017

MADISON, Wis. — Local gamer Matt Sameson has reportedly spent over $5,000 for the ability to turn up whatever anti-aliasing…

October 22, 2017

CUPERTINO, Calif. — A climate change-fueled mass extinction event that will wipe 90 percent of the human race off the…

October 18, 2017

Twitter is buzzing about a lot of things right now, but none of them are the tweets by Kurt Williams,…

October 17, 2017

BOSTON — Hundreds of new straight edge recruits received their standard issue black sheep tattoos this morning in a traditional…