Look, everyone keeps talking about what a stupid idea it would be if the United States were to annex Canada and make it the 51st…
Fuck! I made a huge mistake at work and now I’m paying for it dearly. My huge mistake? Not making mistakes! Unlike my coworkers, I’m…
JACKSONVILLE – Lead singer of the alt-rock band Up Above declined to tell the audience he couldn’t hear them as they legitimately did a very…
WASHINGTON — The world’s richest man Elon Musk and President-elect Donald Trump are reportedly closer than ever after finding common ground while discussing which of…
LONDON – Negotiator Peter Franks decided to take on the much easier job of finally getting Israel to agree to a ceasefire with Hamas after…
RONKS, Penn. — Local anarchist and aspirational revolutionary Steven Franks felt foolish after discovering that he accidentally became part of an Amish village a full…
LOS ANGELES — Indie-rock band Weezer allegedly ran out of colors that are visible to the human eye on the 400nm to 750nm spectrum to…
LEXINGTON, KY. — Lily Jones, personal therapist to resident Alex Hirata, would like him to know that yes it’s okay to masturbate as a form…
Have you ever gotten so wrapped up in what you were doing you lost sight of why you were doing it? Because we successfully campaigned…
CLAY CENTER, Kan. — An environmental catastrophe devastated a local farmer’s field after a malfunctioning wind turbine caused a dangerous amount of wind to spill…
PIERRE, S.D. – South Dakota Governor and potential Trump 2024 running mate Kristi Noem tried to save face after admitting to shooting her dog by…
LOS ANGELES – Millennials recently found themselves bawling with tears of joy after Steve Burns of “Blue’s Clues” fame once again touched their hearts by…
Being sexually harassed at school is a difficult problem to handle but with some encouragement from my friends, I worked up the courage to tell…
Me and my boyfriend Mark started dating a little bit ago and he’s great and everything but there is a slight age gap between us.…
Trump supporters are notorious for their undying loyalty to their creamsicle god. The idea that Trump could shoot someone on 5th avenue and not lose…