DES MOINES, Iowa — All 65 million members of Generation X around the country celebrated after finally realizing their goal of becoming invisible to the…
LAS VEGAS — Local bartender Aaron McIntire recently decided to adopt a 12-year-old Burmese python he saw advertised online despite being forcibly removed from three…
ASTORIA, Ore. — Local PR account manager Madison Auerbach decided there is more value in referring to people as “unhoused” in her private conversations than…
PHILADELPHIA — Researchers at Johns Hopkins University confirmed the average American punk consumes a half-dozen cigarettes in their sleep throughout the year, according to a…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local guitarist Dylan Scharm recoiled in pain earlier today after spotting a set mousetrap on his father’s garage floor and instinctively stepping…
As the nation reels from yet another senseless act of violence perpetrated against the innocent, I’d like to offer the citizens of TOWN NAME GOES…
CHATTANOOGA — Local three-year-old Joseph Rhoades is finally getting some goddamn respect in his household after finding his father’s semi-automatic handgun behind a bookshelf in…
I’m not sure how this happened and I don’t know how to make it stop. One minute I was minding my own business, listening to…