WASHINGTON — Scientists have confirmed that the current nationwide dumpster fire is adversely affecting the national crust punk population, according to a new study conducted…
Colin Kaepernick is giving a voice to us fellow Americans who have, up until this point, gone unheard. For too long our national anthem has…
Hey, you. Yeah, I’m talking to you. The one crowd killing by swinging fists directly into unsuspecting show patrons trying to watch this band. I’m…
NEW YORK — A much-needed last-minute practice for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra was delayed yet again by fucking Dale Andrews, who was late to rehearsal for the…
ALLSTON, Mass. – Fire marshal and building safety inspector Michael Sharpe was reportedly “wholeheartedly charmed” by the safety margin noted during last night’s show at the…
SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. – An already strained relationship found itself in dire straits this past Thursday when local boyfriend and FBI investigator, Andrew Forrest, pleaded…
PRAIRIE CHAPEL RANCH, TX – Sources confirmed this morning that after Jeb Bush’s embarrassing loss in New Hampshire’s 2016 primary, former President George W. Bush…
We’ve lost a lot of great people in 2015 — people who made us laugh, challenged the way we think, or, like Lemmy, influenced generations…
OLYMPIA, Wash. – Due to circumstances described as “typical goddamn horseshit,” Doctor Piss were forced to drop off their show Friday night. But in an effort…
GAINESVILLE, Florida – Unencumbered by any logical thought process, local show promoter Matt Kimball came up with an idea for fixing a double-booked Saturday evening…