WASHINGTON — Scientists have confirmed that the current nationwide dumpster fire is adversely affecting the national crust punk population, according…
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Colin Kaepernick is giving a voice to us fellow Americans who have, up until this point, gone unheard. For too…
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Hey, you. Yeah, I’m talking to you. The one crowd killing by swinging fists directly into unsuspecting show patrons trying…
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NEW YORK — A much-needed last-minute practice for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra was delayed yet again by fucking Dale Andrews, who…
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ALLSTON, Mass. – Fire marshal and building safety inspector Michael Sharpe was reportedly “wholeheartedly charmed” by the safety margin noted during…
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SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. – An already strained relationship found itself in dire straits this past Thursday when local boyfriend and…
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PRAIRIE CHAPEL RANCH, TX – Sources confirmed this morning that after Jeb Bush’s embarrassing loss in New Hampshire’s 2016 primary,…
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We've lost a lot of great people in 2015 -- people who made us laugh, challenged the way we think,…
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OLYMPIA, Wash. – Due to circumstances described as "typical goddamn horseshit," Doctor Piss were forced to drop off their show Friday…
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GAINESVILLE, Florida – Unencumbered by any logical thought process, local show promoter Matt Kimball came up with an idea for…
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