Awkward Man Botches Handshake After Failing Quick Time Event
NEW YORK — Missing the necessary half-second window to input a button press, witnesses say local gamer Roger Dawkins completely…
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Kevin Flynn
92 stories found
Doug Bowser Slowly Walks Off Camera to the Left During Nintendo Direct About Joy-Con Drift
REDMOND, Wash. — With his body gradually approaching the edge of the YouTube video’s border, Nintendo of America president Doug…
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Gamer Emotionally Unprepared to Control Character After Harrowing Cutscene
EAST LANSING, Mich. — Feeling a sense of panic as the in-game camera gradually swiveled back around behind his character,…
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D&D Party Member Rolls Perception Check to See If DM Knows What The Fuck He’s Doing
NEW YORK — On a hunch inspired by a very scatterbrained verbal description of the dungeon chamber the party had…
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Paramount Announces Theatrical Re-Release of ‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon’ for as Long as It Takes to Claim Box Office Record from Avengers
LOS ANGELES — Teasing a brand new extended edition of the popular film with previously unreleased footage, Paramount Pictures announced…
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Here are the Best Amazon Deals Now That Prime Day Has Ended and It’s Okay to Enable the Abuse of Warehouse Workers Again
Well, frugal gamers, Amazon Prime Day 2019 has ended. Millions of shoppers got some great deals, but millions more chose…
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Nintendo Unveils Switch Heavy for Gamers Who ‘Don’t Care About Playing on the Go’
KYOTO — A Nintendo video presentation Tuesday morning unveiled the Nintendo Switch Heavy, a new model of the console specifically…
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Zelda Dungeon Boss Can’t Believe He Accidentally Locked Himself Behind Giant Door
FIRE TEMPLE, Hyrule — Becoming flustered after quickly realizing his mistake, the subterranean lava dragon Volvagia was in total disbelief…
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Newest ‘Game Grumps’ Episode Just 14 Minutes of Game’s Title Screen While Arin and Dan Discuss How Weird It Would Be If They Kissed
GLENDALE, Calif. — In a departure from their usual episode format, the newest upload to the popular YouTube channel Game…
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Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders Practice Fusion Dance For Hours in Attempt to Merge Into Ideal Candidate
KAMI’S LOOKOUT — Sweating and breathing heavily from their strenuous efforts, sources confirmed Wednesday that Senator Elizabeth Warren and Senator…
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