Erica, oh my God, no! Erica? ERICA??! Nonononono please come back to me. This can’t be real. My beautiful Erica, snatched from me in the…
ATLANTA — And Weeping Solemnly, The Cherubs Affixed Their Gaze merch guy Luis Flores admitted today he hopes to join the band onstage soon, as…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Legendary childhood diseases Measles and Polio will co-headline an upcoming U.S. tour, thanks entirely to the countless parents who absolutely refuse to…
GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Straight edge hardcore vocalist Brody Meenan’s date last night came to an unceremonious end after several unsuccessful attempts to connect with…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Hedonistic rocker Andrew W.K held a press conference today to address accusations that his stage persona may be a “gimmick,” releasing…
CLEVELAND — Local child Dixie “Shortcake” Ross was utterly bewildered this week when her first day of kindergarten revealed a world unlike anything she’s ever…