Attention Boston area residents! Was one or more of your loved ones killed by ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey?…
INDIANAPOLIS — Local man Dave McGrath is clinging to hope that contracting salmonella is part of the process of the lifestyle after his recent pivot…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — A domesticated pig found his life in jeopardy as he began to suspect his punk owner Kevin Gelinas only adopted him to…
It seems like wherever you look these days, we’re surrounded by people who’ve never known a minute of strife, let alone minor inconvenience. How nice…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — CEO Steve Westwood of tech juggernaut SnaxR called an emergency all-hands-on-deck meeting to excitedly inform employees of a cool band he…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Eight-year-old Chase Gibson was optimistic after the dissolution of the polycule that had raised him since birth after realizing he will get…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Jeff Abrams made a complete ass of himself after blanking on the lyrics to Daft Punk’s “Around the World” during his…
WASHINGTON — A recent study conducted by the Census Bureau revealed that the majority of Millennial Americans are forced to take on a second or…
President Biden’s SAVE plan, his audacious agenda to cancel student loans for millions of Americans, was immediately embraced by the public when it was revealed…
KUTZTOWN, Pa. — St. Patrick’s Day reveler and local punk Shane Becker was unconcerned that his green-tinted urine had nothing to do with the 15…
HELP! Please you have to do something, I’m not sure how much time I have left until I turn. As you can see, I’ve clearly…
LAS VEGAS — Enterprising DJ Brian “Blaze” Johnson took multitasking to a new level after utilizing the majority of his downtime on stage to finish…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Hallmark Channel’s newest movie reportedly features a groundbreaking sex scene depicting 20 seconds of dry humping between the romantic leads which…
This country is going to hell. Everyday there’s some new bullshit that threatens our American way of life, like Taylor Swift and books about the…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — A bombshell study recently revealed a Conservative think tank spent $40 million trying to find a way to frame Girl Scout cookies…