Whether you’ve read the books or seen the movies, there isn’t a single person alive who doesn’t wish they could visit Willy Wonka’s fantastical chocolate…
If history has shown us anything, it’s that America best exhibits its core values when done by force. The woke liberal industrial complex trying to…
Few people were as synonymous or odorous in the punk world as the Stinky Cheese Man. He and the “Fairly Stupid Crew” were staples of…
NEWTON, Mass. — Local man Jim Conelly announced today that due to aging out of the St. Patrick’s Day bar scene, he would be spending…
With all the terrible things going on in the world, sometimes you need to laugh to keep yourself from crying. Everyone is so cynical about…
PURGATORY — The afterlife faced a major shake-up after the Angel of Death was placed on administrative leave for his failure to kill GOP Senator…
LOS ANGELES — Former Blink 182 member Matt Skiba frantically searched “how to play drums” upon news that Travis Barker’s hand surgery would postpone the…
NEW YORK — Local dominatrix Angela Jones is parading her sub around while he wears her Doc Martens in order to break in the notoriously…
Hey bud. Can we talk a minute? I think you’re old enough where we can talk man to man about something everyone at your age…
HOLDREDGE, Neb. — Local teen Marissa Jenson is still dutifully waiting for her much older boyfriend to return home after leaving town to defend pop…
CULVER CITY, Calif. — “Wheel of Fortune” contestant and local punk Bruce Hughes inadvertently challenged the game rules after asking to bum a vowel, exasperated…
CRESCENT CITY, Calif. — A highly sought after stick-and-poke tattoo artist at the notorious Pelican Bay State Prison revealed to fellow inmates that he is…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Decemberists lead singer Colin Meloy brought recording to a halt and began frantically asking band members if they could also see the…
The memories of Christmases of my youth never fail to fill my heart. Sure the gifts were great, but the look on my parents’ faces…