BAYONNE, N.J. — Residents of local punk house The Dry Socket made the cost-cutting decision to switch to Kirkland Signature for household whippets after reevaluating…
So you’re blowing off steam after work at an LA Dive bar when you notice, more than a few times, this artsy-looking couple across the…
EDINA, Minn. — 37-year-old man Steve Bellows opted for chicken fingers for his seventh consecutive dinner outing despite having poured over the entire 23-page menu…
As I sit here in this soulless downtown bar, I feel like something is missing. Maybe it’s the dim Edison bulbs or the TJ Maxx…
HOUSTON — Several severe budget cuts to Texas public schools caused one high school’s ‘American History’ curriculum to be reduced to a single weathered VHS…
A great 20th-century philosopher/astronomer once said, “work sucks, I know.” Long hours, stagnant wages, and poor management have left a majority of America’s working-class feeling…
JERUSALEM — Archeologists from Brown University made a bombshell discovery late last week in a long-lost scripture describing Jesus being super rude to the waiter…
LOS ANGELES — Production of two new “Mission Impossible” films came to a grinding halt after Tom Cruise received news that dictator of the galactic…
LAS VEGAS — Organizers of the When We Were Young Festival announced that they have set aside 700 parking spots specifically for teens waiting to…
Hey bud, haven’t seen you around in a while, oh, you’ve been isolating! Didn’t know you could wait tables from home, ha ha. Wait, you…
Every year, thousands of people visit the “happiest place on earth” to experience the magic of Disney. There’s almost too much to do and see…
LOS ANGELES — Local fitness enthusiast Gene Davidson is reportedly entering the third hour of an absurdly low-speed chase trying to recover a runaway AirPod…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A freegan crust punk was left horrified and repulsed after discovering where the food in the dumpster behind his local Burger King…
Hey friend. I couldn’t help but notice that sweet, cherry red Fjällräven backpack you’re wearing. Nice to meet a fellow lover of the outdoors! I…
Christmas is right around the corner, and we all know what that means: An uncomfortably voluminous amount of new holiday movies from the Hallmark Channel.…