Life Hack: Apparently, You Can Throw Underwear Away if It Gets Too Old
I hear people talk a lot these days about “wellness.” On TikTok, it’s almost impossible not to hear chatter about:…
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Adam Frost-Venrick
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Opinion: This Destination Wedding Is the Perfect Way To Make People Forget We’ve Been Cheating on Each Other
I don’t care what anybody says over at the Hallmark Greeting Card Company, love is difficult. The prospect of spending…
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Democrats Placated By Decision to Rename Alligator Alcatraz the “Ruth Bader Ginsburg Memorial Detention Facility”
WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…
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Scientists Warn Flushing Unused Meds May Lead to Fish Losing Creativity and Ability to Get Hard
SALEM, Ore. — Local scientists at the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife (ODFW) warned this week that flushing unused…
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DEA Officials Confirm Elon Musk’s Ketamine Habit the Single Most Effective Way to Make Drugs Look Uncool
SPRINGFIELD, Va. — Local Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representative Luther Sacristan Diaz confirmed that Elon Musk’s rampant ketamine habit is…
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Former Band Members Have to Pretend They Don’t Know Each Other At AA Meeting
NEW ORLEANS — A weekly Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting was recently attended by all three former members of the band Cyanide…
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Give Me a Second Good Reason Why I Can’t Bring My Gun to the Haunted House This Year
As Halloween draws nearer, there’s nothing I like more than going to one of the many elaborately designed haunted houses,…
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Bob Dylan Wondering if It’s Too Late to Do a Genre-Defining Ska Album
MALIBU, Calif. — Legendary singer-songwriter Bob Dylan, the genius behind albums like “Highway 61 Revisited,” “Time Out of Mind” and…
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So-Called Punk Show Still Features Organized Ticket Line and Thorough Safety Procedures
ATHENS, Ga. — Beloved local bar and music venue Whiskey Dick McGraw’s is facing backlash from confused and disappointed punks…
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Who Cares if Artificial Intelligence Is Depleting Energy Resources When You Can AI Generate As Many Pictures of the Rainforest As You Want
I feel like there’s just no pleasing you people sometimes. In 2021, I went out and I bought Etherium and…
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