Alright, get ready to have your mind blown. You remember those Guitar Hero games from about twenty years ago? It seems like you couldn’t enter a dorm room or sleepover without seeing one of your friends holding a plastic guitar in front of a TV, trying to sync up the buttons with one of their favorite songs. Anyway, the saga’s 2008 iteration was called “Guitar Hero: Aerosmith” and featured a comically over-stylized version of a classic rock band playing boring, watered-down songs that were almost as forgettable as they were grating. Well, get this: apparently that band actually exists.
Ew, seriously?
Yes. Apparently this band, which is indeed called Aerosmith, formed in Boston in 1970. That’s right, they’ve existed for well over five decades at this point. What the hell? Trust us, we were thinking the same thing. What’s more, those shitty, stupid songs you remember from the video game? The ones that sound like the developers just hastily scrambled some boilerplate rock together so players could focus on the controls? Those all exist in real-life, too. Yes, even “Love in an Elevator”. Same idiotic, double-entendre lyrics and everything.
Yeah, we couldn’t believe it either.
“OK, I buy it if they’re just a part-time dad-rock band that’s been playing in shitty Boston dive bars for the past few decades,” you’re undoubtedly thinking right now. There’s no way they’re successful, right? Think again. Apparently Aerosmith is highly regarded among the classic rock community, so much so that they’ve repeatedly sold out arenas since the 1970s, have been featured on the soundtracks of countless films, and were even inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2001. Can you believe it? The band that repeatedly made you cringe with “Livin’ on the Edge” in some silly video game when you were 19 occupies the same hallowed halls as Bob Dylan, Simon & Garfunkel, and The Supremes.
What in the actual fuck?
We certainly don’t blame you if you feel the need to fact-check us on this, so go ahead and do some research. Frankly, we’re still holding out hope that this is some sort of Mandela effect or AI glitch that’s taken over the entire Internet. Anything but us cohabiting on a planet with people dumb enough to voluntarily consume this sleep-inducing trash for decades. Until you do that, however, we’re just going to sit here and shake our heads while we try to play “Sweet Emotion” on Expert mode. Ugh, this sucks.
