PHILADELPHIA — Chillinoutmaxxing reportedly remains the defining trend among Willennials, with analysts noting an ever-increasing interest in the cultural attitudes and personal philosophies associated with the turn of the Willennium.
“I’ve been taking chillinoutmaxxing way more seriously lately,” said 39-year-old Marcus Denton while slowly spinning a basketball on one finger. “I try to keep it simple and spend most of my days at the playground, shooting the occasional game of B-ball. In this neighborhood, it’s all cool, you just sit back, relax, and avoid major confrontations, except maybe one little fight. But even though that got some people scared, including my mom, it’s not like I’m not gonna flip, turn upside-down my life, leave and move in with some random relatives in California because of a couple of no-good guys. I mean, that kinda thing isn’t typical, if anything I could say that it was rare.”
Cultural analyst Dana Mercer noted that while chillinoutmaxxing has long remained popular among Willennials, he has seen a noticeable uptick in adherence to its principles recently.
“Willennials are increasingly returning to many of the cultural practices associated with the late-90s and early-2000s era,” said Mercer. “It is very common for many practitioners to kick back, particularly in the summertime when the weather is high, waiting for somebody to ring-ding-dong-ding-diggity you at the cookout. You’ll often see them biting cigars without lighting them, boating offshore in 500-degree weather, and just generally going wicki-wicki-wild. Many Willennials have even embraced more recent but related activities like highly public personal humiliations and desperate attempts to convince everyone they’re still having fun no matter how sad and uncomfortable things have become.”
Will Smith, whom many consider the original chillinoutmaxxer, says he’s excited so many Willennials continue to embrace chillinoutmaxxing.
“It’s so great to see so many people who were alive during, uh, uh, and can remember, haha-haha, the turn of the Willennium continue to embrace chillinoutmaxxing,” said Smith. “You know, chillinoutmaxxing was never just about relaxing all cool, it’s honestly a whole willifestyle. And as long as you’re willilling to put in the willork, it’s never too willate to willive the willife you willant, you know, and seeing every Willennial willith that willenergy makes willeverything willorth-willhile.”
At press time, several Willennials were reportedly debating whether or not Will Smith had recently suffered a series of strokes.
