VANCOUVER, British Columbia — A local man who coupled a T-shirt with a blazer must be an absolute creative genius, according to passersby who marvelled at being in such close proximity to this next-level wonderkid.
“I’m a man of very few words, and that’s why I let my style do all the talking,” stated 43-year-old Bryce Weathers while checking himself out in a store window. “I don’t have time to stop and talk to every person who wants to meet me, so the best way for me to let them know how much of a visionary I am is to wear something that communicates genius, like a T‑shirt and blazer, long before I even open my mouth. You’d be surprised how many times a day I get mistaken for Jack Dorsey.”
The man’s roommate, Kyle Moore, chimed in with his thoughts on Bryce.
“The guy’s a creative genius all right, if that term means someone who steals other people’s clearly labelled food from the fridge then has a meltdown when you call him on it,” said Moore. “If he were really that brilliant, surely he could come up with a way to wash his dishes or find the time to flush the toilet on occasion after he destroys it. The only creative thing about him are the innovative excuses he comes up with for why he can’t make rent. Not to mention that all his T-shirts are way too tight for him. There’s nothing inventive about showing your middle-aged belly fat to the world.”
A fashion expert explained that some individuals use style as a crutch to mask their mediocrity.
“For those with no substance, fashion becomes a way to fool others into thinking they’re more important than they are,” explained Sandra Flanagan. “You don’t know how many times I’ve watched uninteresting people try to overcompensate for their emptiness by letting a fashion accessory do all the heavy lifting for their personality. If you’ve ever been at a party when a self-important dweeb walks in sporting a fedora or pork pie hat, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
At press time, the creative genius was seen trying to decide which pair of Converse to pair with his outfit.
