DULUTH, Minn. — Systems analyst Guillermo Rodriguez aggravated his friends when he notified them that he had a twin brother who lived in another town, sources report.
“What the fuck?” questioned Rodriguez’s friend Anita Werner. “Guillermo has a twin brother and I’m just now learning about this? Why aren’t the two of them inseparable, sharing the same hobbies and using funny languages that they made up together? Did they never dress the same and walk everywhere side by side? I asked Guillermo if he has a sixth sense about how his brother is feeling, like if he was in an accident would Guillermo sense it, and he just gave me this look like I’m a total moron. I’m going to have to rethink everything I knew about twins, because this flies directly in the face of all of it.”
Rodriguez was quite shocked how his friends responded to the news.
“I love my brother, but I don’t really see the need to be around him all the time,” said Rodriguez. “People tend to assume that we go everywhere together and finish each other’s sentences just because we’re twins. I guess maybe we did when we were little, but we both grew up to be two completely different people, who haven’t seen each other in years. He liked to play basketball while I liked to sit at home and play Warhammer 40,000, and he ran with the popular crowd in high school while I was more bookish and introverted. We still keep in touch, obviously, but he’s doing his thing while I’m doing mine. It’s really no big deal.”
Sociologist Myrtle Watkins weighed in on the situation.
“Movies and television definitely give some people misguided views on how twins function,” Watkins said. “While there are many sets of twins out there who share the same friends, attend the same gatherings, and participate in the same activities, most of them are just normal people who happened to have been born at the same time as one of their siblings. It’s very rare that they’ll present themselves like Tia and Tamara Mowery did in ‘Sister, Sister’ or those weird ghost twins from ‘The Shining,’ which can be a bit of a shock to people whose only exposure to the concept of twins has been through mediums like these.”
At press time, Werner became even more irritated when Rodriguez told her his twin brother didn’t even look the exact same as him.
