It’s time to come clean once and for all. The best meal I’ve ever had was the two slices of limp cheese between a couple of slices of Wonder bread at the Fyre Festival in 2017. It was so good it left a taste in my mouth for nearly 12 hours. I even kept burping it up every few minutes. It’s like my internal organs wanted to keep reminding me of it.
The earthy tones, waxy aftertaste, and hints of fresh sorbic acid as a preservative really hit the spot when you’ve been microdosing mushrooms all day and festival organizers forgot to stock up on $12 bottles of Aquafina to purchase. This must’ve been what they ate at the Last Supper.
Sure, presentation-wise, the sandwich looked like a discount Lunchable that’s been sitting unrefrigerated on the counter for a few days. But man, there was just something about the store-brand individually sliced American cheese singles that really hit the spot. Could be because there were no other food options available for 16 hours up until that point.
Airport sushi. Little Caesars. Outback Steakhouse. Nothing has been able to satisfy my advanced palate the way a cheese sandwich made by a 17-year-old festival volunteer did that day.
If Anthony Bourdain was still alive, he could’ve done an entire episode about it. Gordon Ramsey could learn a thing or two too. And there’s still time for Guy Fieri to add it to the menu at Flavortown. I would travel to Italy’s finest Olive Garden to taste it once more.
If only there was a way to get the recipe for the Fyre Festival cheese sandwich, so that I could make it myself at home and consume it daily. On the other hand, the iceberg lettuce and slimy tomato that came with the sandwich was utter shit.