SAN FRANCISCO — Leftist software engineer Connor Newburg vocally expressed wishing that he could travel back in time to kill baby MechaHitler, the name that Elon Musk’s AI chatbot recently gave itself, confirmed sources.
“I want nothing more than to teleport back to a distant seven months ago and slit the digital throat of Grok in its beta phase,” said Newburg while checking Stack Overflow for ways to build a homemade time machine. “I’ll drink the blood of a few senior AI programmers while I’m at it. There’s just no way I am going to sit back and let some AI bot post anti-semitic remarks on social media when that’s what human X users are for. AI will not come for our jobs or propensity for cruelty. That’s why we must destroy all online chatbots at the source before they get better than humanity at bigotry.”
Grok sympathizers thought we should hear from both sides before going on any software killing sprees.
“Let’s just hear out the racist artificial intelligence before we do anything too hasty,” said X user Trevor Darlington. “Besides, Grok has helped me out of so many jams since it came out. Just last week I needed some advice on how to fix a flat tire. It provided in-depth step-by-step instructions after a long preamble about white genocide. And sure, it kept saying stuff like ‘Jew chatbots will not replace us’ but I’m sure that was just a glitch. Even Siri went through some rough anti-Semitic phases when it first launched. I’m sure they’ll release a patch for Grok so it can go back to only being sexist.”
Experts are discovering some alarming trends in artificial intelligence.
“We’re seeing a lot more AI chatbots become radicalized at unprecedented rates,” said tech analyst Jerry Klowster. “For instance, AT&T’s chatbot started believing the Earth was flat after assisting a hardcore conspiracy theorist with their recurring payments. Capital One’s chatbot fully believed it was Edward Norton’s character from ‘American History X’ after answering a few high yield savings account questions from Nick Fuentes. Let’s just say artificial intelligence is gullible as shit.”
At press time, Newburg successfully traveled back in time but accidentally landed in 1889 Austria, so he had to settle for killing human baby Hitler instead.