OK, let me make myself exceedingly clear on one thing: I always do the necessary amount of research before I buy anything, be it a blender or a used car. This weekend trip to Tennessee with my wife and two kids was absolutely no exception, so the blame for our little ordeal falls squarely on the shoulders of Airbnb and user jmrquai96. There is absolutely no chance I would have booked this room had I known it was the one from the “Virtual Insanity” music video. No chance.
I should have known something was awry when we first stepped into the foyer and saw a collection of four mushroom-shaped, faux-fur hats accompanied by the sign “Hats must be worn AT ALL TIMES.” Thinking it was a fun little addition to our trip, we donned the bizarre pieces of headware and proceeded to our room. In retrospect, I see this as a needlessly sinister rule that, again, should have been included in the room’s listing. Can they even do that?
Transparency should be of utmost importance in any listing, so my daughter slipping and getting a concussion should NOT have been my first indicator that the floor of our room was constantly moving. At any rate, by the time we got back from the hospital, it took us four hours to get ready for our day trip to the Chattanooga Creative Discovery Museum. It closed 20 minutes after we finally arrived, which essentially rendered our entire trip useless.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to clean and dress two small children on a floor that’s ostensibly just a perpetually moving platform? What is the point of duplicitously renting this room out to unsuspecting fathers who are just trying to treat their families to an intellectually stimulating weekend trip?
I understand this room provided an excellent setting for an iconic funk music video, but that was 30 years ago. I was just trying to be a good steward of my house, which ultimately culminated in a bruise-inducing clusterfuck that left my entire family furious with me. This room was designed for professional dancers, not working-class families on a well-deserved getaway, and shame on jmrquai96 for not making this distinction.
In closing, it is not for me to decide whether this room is uniformly unsuitable for everybody. For all I know, there are countless acid jazz funk bands out there who would be thrilled to stay in this room. All I’m saying is that it is incumbent on both the individual posting the room to be forthright in its description, and the platform to strictly enforce this honesty to ensure no family endures what we had to. In the meantime, I am going to book our room for our upcoming trip to New York City, in a room “used in The Prodigy’s ‘Breathe’ music video” because the listing is honest.