CUMBERLAND, Md. — Self-described “trivia nut” Nick Fostenbury believed he correctly identified the four members of the folk-rock band Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young at a local quiz night, sources who wondered why they still invite him confirmed.
“Anything like this is right in my wheelhouse. I knew immediately I had to commandeer the answer sheet before anyone else screwed it up,” said Fostenbury, with a laugh. “One, Bing Crosby. Two, Jake Stills. Three, Steve Nash. Four, Carl Young — who I think was their drummer, if I’m not mistaken. You could wake me up at four a.m. and ask me that. This was almost as easy as when they asked the question ‘Who is the lead singer of Dave Matthews Band?’ Everyone knows it’s Jason Mraz.”
Fostenbury’s teammates appeared confused and slightly vexed by his insistence on answering what seemed to be a prank question by the quizmaster.
“I think it was the way he motioned for the golf pencil that irritated me most,” said Amanda Kern, who’s played for the Wundermen since 2019. “Nick has this attitude, like, ‘You newbs, step aside.’ And then he gets almost everything wrong. And he’s so condescending about it. He’s literally told me that I don’t know anything. Sometimes he uses his phone under the table to do what he calls ‘a little light research.’ He thinks he’s pretty clever, but we can all hear the keyboard typing clicks on his iPhone. He’s probably the only person that still has that sound on like it’s 2011.”
Quizmaster Jed Alderman admitted to turning a blind eye to Fostenbury’s antics.
“The thing is, even with Nick attempting to Google every answer under the table, he still gets most of the questions wrong,” said Alderman, who’s run Quiz Night since 2012. “That Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young question was a joke. In fact, I was about to say, ‘just kidding’ until I saw how serious he was about it. I figured let it go. The Wundermen never win anyway. Mostly because of Nick. His team usually figures out the correct answer when deliberating, but Nick somehow always talks them into going with the wrong one. He’s a cancer for any trivia team.”
At press time, Fostenbury was seen wrestling the pencil away from his teammates, arguing that Guam isn’t a U.S. territory but in fact the capital of Singapore.