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Missing Vegan Child on Back of Silk Carton Never Found

NEW YORK — Missing nine-year-old vegan child Hunter Morgan has still not been recovered, according to investigators, despite his family posting his photo on the packaging of their favorite dairy alternatives since his disappearance.

The Morgan family has faced a barrage of criticism within the year, with many suggesting they should have taken more serious measures to find their child. Despite the negative outcry, the grieving family defended their methods.

“A missing child on a milk carton is iconic, and Silk is an amazing company. We are so happy to partner with them,” said Julie Morgan, Hunter’s mother. “You can use it in cereal, for baking — it’s even a rich option to dip your Oreos into. Did you know that Oreos are vegan? Our Hunter loved Oreos with a tall glass of Silk.”

“These criticisms are born out of ignorance,” added Paul Morgan, Hunter’s father. “Plant-based ‘milk’ has just as much calcium and protein as any cow’s milk out there, and I can hardly taste the difference. Plus, you aren’t drinking something saturated with hormones. We aren’t cows. Why would we drink their milk? And why would we want our child on its cartons? It just perpetuates cow milk acceptance.”

Mr. and Mrs. Morgan remain optimistic about the mainstream acceptance of Silk and other dairy alternatives, as well as finding their child. The Morgans have been working closely with Private Investigator Jared Long, who specializes in missing persons cases.

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“The Morgans are very passionate people,” Long said. “It’s clear they want to get the word out about living a healthy, productive, vegan lifestyle. They also want to find Hunter. Although, to be honest, they’ve got kind of a mixed message going.”

When Hunter went missing, the Morgans immediately petitioned Silk to post their son’s photo on their products. Silk was more than happy to partner with the aggrieved family.

“At Silk, family comes first. And when we heard a young vegan was kidnapped, we were very excited to do our part to help find him,” said Silk spokesperson Tanya Livingston. “Sure, Hunter may never be found, but you know who else wasn’t found? Johnny Gosch. It’s time vegans get that kind of exposure.”

The Morgan family’s next steps include an AMBER Alert for Waldorf-educated children, made from coniferous tree sap and sent by U.S. Postal Service.