Yo. You’ll never guess who we got a chance to sit down with.
Remember that girl, from high school, Kayla Green?
YUP!
The one that fucked her dog! How could we forget? We couldn’t! No one forgot! She’s always going to be remembered for that for the rest of her life! Gross right!?
Get this! She never even fucked a dog!
…
Yeah…
Oh man, now we kind of feel bad.
I mean, I can speak for most of us when I say talking about Kayla Green fucking a dog was a top ten, honestly top five moment of not only high school but my entire youth.
Yeah, apparently that just a rumor her stepbrother started.
I guess he bullied her, like, a lot.
We were so excited that we tracked her down too! Like we thought this was the throwback find of the century, and it was! It, just, so happens that we kind of brought back a really truly horrible time in her life that she’s apparently still trying to escape.
I mean, it was just a joke, right?
We sat down with her and it was kind of depressing so I’ll save you the details of the actual talk but, like, yikes. Boy am I glad no one thought I fucked a dog or fingered a cat (a popular variation of the original rumor).
She was tough to find too, changed her name to Kylie Murdoch to completely avoid being found. She even moved to New Zealand and when we got there for the ultimate “Gotcha!” moment she just burst into tears. Seriously she really clipped our wings on that one. We thought it was going to be a laugh riot and it honestly was an overall bummer.
Yeah, maybe we were bullying this girl all along. It’s a pretty mean thing to accuse someone of, but how were we supposed to know. Like when she switched schools junior year cause people threw dog shit at her, or when people smeared peanut butter on her locker, or when we all found out she switched to homeschooling after the second school because the rumor followed her…we thought it couldn’t get any better!
Between all that and all the laughs we had thinking about how gross she was, it really did shape our entire high school experience. How were we supposed to know she attempted suicide because of it? It’s not our fault, we just couldn’t get past how funny it would be if she actually did have sex with a dog, I mean, can you imagine?!
But, yeah, it was just a big mean rumor.
Hmmmm.
Welp, now you know. Honestly our bad for all those jokes and it’s also on us for running this headline with her photo.
Live and learn!