Mike Moran
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FRESNO, Calif. — Local man Brett Motts recently monopolized the final 22 seconds of a mutual copulation exchange, reiterating repeatedly…
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Ben Friedman
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Have you ever encountered someone so obnoxious, terminally unlikable that you’d sooner kill yourself than be seen within a ten-mile…
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Matt Husser
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TACOMA, Wash. — Members of punk band The Shitbutts renewed their commitment to joining the 27 Club with a pact…
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Dan Rice
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There you kids go again, snickering over another one of your little “inside jokes.” I bet you think your old…
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Mark Shady
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FORT DIX, N.J. — The Fort Dix Federal Correctional Institute announced that it has granted Sean “Diddy” Combs conjugal freak-offs,…
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Matt Husser
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CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled the next generation iPhone today, a new disposable single-use iPhone Loosie, sources…
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Alex Aho
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I have to admit it; I’m getting old. But I like to think that I’m still in touch with the…
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Jeff Bender
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HUNTERSVILLE, N.C. — Former talent acquisition specialist Remy Dolan confirmed this week that he still honors his old company's tradition…
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Ben Friedman
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I’ve been called a lot of things: selfish, immature, annoying, and, according to my 10th-grade English teacher, an unserious student…
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Mike Maher
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POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — Seminal noise outfit GÜNT has reunited with its original laptop and founding member, sources close to the…
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