Jose Balderas
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ONTARIO, Calif. — Local punk Remy Omomo made a breakthrough during a recent therapy session and admitted his love for…
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Matt Husser
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WASHINGTON — Secretary of Health Robert F. Kennedy Jr. today declared his plans to live for eternity after stuffing his…
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Matt Husser
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There are a few rules I live my life by: a balanced diet is a slice of pizza in each…
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Chris Bowen
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AUBURN, N.Y. — Local metalhead Stew Benendez came to the realization he could no longer headbang the way he used…
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BLACKWELL, Okla. — Local man Darren McFadden was ready to take on his day after his Instagram algorithm fed him…
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One was a massively corrupt political party dragging the country into authoritarian oligarchy through lies, xenophobia, and secret police. The…
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Shane Pauker
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AKRON, Ohio — Attendees at Hamster Death Method’s latest concert felt overwhelmingly “whoo,” per an impromptu survey conducted by the…
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Trevor Graham
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WICHITA, Kan. — Local 62-year-old dad Carl Strungis reportedly spends hours glued to The History Channel, absorbing absolutely nothing except…
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Matt Husser
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Ah, the Fourth of July: the day we celebrate George Washington conquering thousands of commies back in biblical times to…
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Jason Clemence
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SARASOTA, Fla. — Local husband and father of three Brett Spalding proudly showed off his expensive new grill to friends…
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