Ben Friedman
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OCEAN TOWNSHIP, N.J. — Tilly, a haunted Victorian era doll recently donated to a local Goodwill, is on the cusp…
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Peter Ferrarese
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My family and I love living here in Montclair — there are restaurants for my wife and me, theaters and…
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Chris Bowen
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LOCKPORT, N.Y. — Local 35-year-old man Richard Colburn recently came to the stark realization that he will never again experience…
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Frederick O'Brien
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BOSTON, Mass. — Scientists confirmed that Democrat lawmakers’ spines are by far the softest material on the planet, and quite…
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Holden Klym
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Look, I’m not one to complain. For the past sixty years, I’ve been a proud American who’s enjoyed exactly two…
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Steve Packosky
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COPENHAGEN — Prolific metal singer King Diamond hoped nobody would notice his eponymous band’s new concept album “Infernal Curse” followed…
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Matt Husser
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WASHINGTON — President Trump announced the creation of the new Federal Institute for Regulating Ethnonormality (FIRE) agency that would complement…
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Ben Friedman
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Unless you’ve been blissfully unaware of any and all current events, this country is fucked. I’m not trying to sound…
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Peyton Cabral
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TACOMA, Wash. — Local dude Grant Brentfield wouldn’t shut the hell up about being brutally attacked with a knife just…
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Jeff Bender
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BELLINGHAM, Wash. — Local vegan Chuck Miller opened up about his struggle to eat vegetables, particularly carrots, after he’s given…
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