Patrick Coyne
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March 15, 2020
TACOMA, Wash. — Bassist Todd Francona, recently accused of sexual misconduct by several women, was just happy that his name…
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NEW YORK — Sesame Street announced plans to introduce a new Muppet that is absolutely horrendous at the video game…
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Your Honor, take a look at this jury. When I arrived here for my trial, I was told the jury…
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John Danek
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March 15, 2020
ATLANTA — Local emotional support dog and shivering, terrified Spitz-mix Bartholomew was forced yesterday to fly on a 5-hour commercial…
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Joe Klein
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March 15, 2020
BROOKLYN — Local Dungeon Master Brian Goldberg’s most recent Dungeons and Dragons session ended in controversy yesterday, after the 26-year-old…
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Nick Ortolani
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March 15, 2020
Cannibal Corpse is just as known for their provocative album covers as they are for their music. Due to our…
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Luke Woodward
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March 15, 2020
BARLOW, Ky. — Local woman Roxana Carozza is entering her 20th hour of the dreaded “Midwestern goodbye” this morning, still…
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Jolie Darrow
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March 15, 2020
BURLINGTON, Vt. — In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, Senator Bernie Sanders has called on Nintendo to preemptively release…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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March 14, 2020
Written by Jeremy Kaplowitz, Giovanni Colantonio, Liam O'Malley, and Jeremy Hammond. Edited by Jeremy Kaplowitz Filmed by Giovanni Colantonio Starring…
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LD Wallace
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March 14, 2020
AUSTIN, Texas — Breaking reports from your irate friends indicate that no one has any interest in learning that weird…
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