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4 stories found

Jake From State Farm Still Needs Billion More People to Bundle Home and Auto Before Dark Wizard Lifts Curse

Kevin Burke • May 11, 2024

KANSAS CITY, Mo. – The popular spokesman Jake from State Farm revealed that he still needs a billion more people…

Ominous Pulsating Dark Orb To Replace Kevin McCarthy As House Speaker

Corey Montgomery • October 4, 2023

WASHINGTON — An ominous pulsating dark orb with unknown powers is set to replace Kevin McCarthy as the Speaker of…

Wizard Casts ‘Mage Hand’ So It Feels Like Someone Else is Doing It

Daniel Menegaz • April 25, 2020

CHICAGO — Local level 2 Half-Elf wizard Stedd Tallstag recently casted ‘Mage Hand’ so it felt like somebody else was…

I’m the Wizard Airbrushed on the Side of a Van. Free Me From This Prison Bestowed

Rob Steinberg • June 19, 2018

I’ve been doomed upon this fate for many of years. Sure, I may look powerful with my crystal ball and…