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3 stories found

Punk Comes to Sudden Realization That Moshing Pretty Stupid

John Danek • January 24, 2025

CHARLEROI, Pa. — Lifelong punk Hunter Burchuk experienced the startling epiphany that moshing is “dumb as hell” during a recent…

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Man Doing Laundry Comes to Sudden, Alarming Realization That It Just Goes On and On Like This Forever

James Knapp • March 13, 2021

TACOMA, Wash. — Local 33-year-old Darrell Ornsby realized yesterday that “the universe is a lie and life is a joke”…

frontman, pink, shirt, hair, frustrated, lights, live, show, hands, sad, annoying, sing

Newly Sober Frontman Realizes He’s Been Singing in Ska Band for Past 13 Years

James Knapp • December 14, 2020

SEATTLE — Singer Ryan Kemper’s commitment to a sober lifestyle brought an alarming realization yesterday: his band of more than…