FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local punk outfit Scrotal Revolt recently began opening shows with a formal acknowledgment of guitar parts they’ve stolen and appropriated for their…
I’m so tired of these supposed healthcare professionals thinking that they’re qualified to judge me just because of their fancy “degrees” and industry-recognized “expertise.” How…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at Harvard University’s Department of Psychology made a breakthrough discovery confirming that 97% of Millennials are programmed to stop right where…
Sunn O))) is a singular band with an undeniable sound and supremely annoying name. Just because “O)))” looks like the letter O being stretched out…
BENSON, Ariz. — Keith Donner, a 45-year-old autobody technician, believes he is one of the fabled “good guys with a gun” while others often describe…
Through my recovery at New Horizons Chicken Parmesan Treatment Facility, I was able to get an entirely new lease on life. The community there gave…
LOS ANGELES — Citing the ever-increasing reality of their impending mortality, members of the iconic punk band Broken Tongue announced the original line-up was getting…
The abacus. The dodo bird. The shopping mall. It’s natural for aspects of everyday life to become extinct. Luckily, your father refuses to shop online,…
Well, it’s summertime again and that means it’s time for sun and fun and reminiscing about actually having the summer off where every day doesn’t…
Father’s Day is here again, which means you’ve likely had to endure classic rock for all the parts of the day you weren’t teaching the…
SCARSDALE, N.Y. — Local estranged dad Scott Barry is reportedly still winning as a father by simply buying his children “whatever the fuck they want”…
Ramones. That’s the tweet. Sire Records formed almost sixty, yes, SIXTY years ago and is still active! Wow, what a difference! Anyway, we attempt to…
I used to set aside fifteen percent of my paycheck for IRAs, savings accounts, and other get-rich-slow schemes. But why am I saving money for…
MILWAUKEE — Local firefighters are struggling to reign in an out-of-control five-alarm warehouse blaze, partially due to equipment operator Eddie Daniels refusing to leave the…
Okay, so let’s address this right at the start, we couldn’t decide which Teen Wolf to use for this list. We thought about using the…