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3 stories found

Awkward: Woman Not Sure What To Do With Hands During Handjob

Dom Turek • January 23, 2023

You’re back at your date’s place and if the natural order of things follows, a Baltimore Handshake lies wait in…

Desperate Kevin McCarthy Agrees to Two Over-the-Pants Handjobs in Exchange for House Speaker Votes in His Favor

The Hard Times Staff • January 5, 2023

WASHINGTON — Embattled Rep. Kevin McCarthy offered Republican colleagues two over-the-pants handjobs, redeemable at any time within his term, if…

We Listened to Every Sufjan Stevens Album and Now We Are Giving Secret Handjobs in a Cornfield

Ramona Apthorp • July 12, 2020

One of the many enjoyable aspects of writing for The Hard Times is being able to review the artists I…