CONSHOHOCKEN, Pa. — Local black metal band Nocturnal Defacement announced their public support yesterday for the “greater of two evils” in the upcoming presidential election,…
SEATTLE — Perpetually single man Conner Turner ruined a promising first date last Friday when he brought up the infamous Norwegian Black Metal one-man solo…
DENTON, Texas — Children’s literature icon Waldo was found yesterday within a local black metal band logo after nearly 30 minutes of attempting to understand…
OSLO, Norway — Local guitarist Evan “Blood Vacuum” Brulend upset his bandmates yesterday when a filtering mishap revealed his corpse paint stopped just below his…
OSLO, Norway — Local black metal frontman “Iscariot” allegedly saw nothing but his own shallow reflection in a Rorschach test administered yesterday by a psychiatrist,…
OSLO, Norway — The brand new, all-black metal streaming platform “Corpsify +” is responsible for the brutal deaths of eight Norwegian black metal fans, despite…
CHICAGO — Popular spiked seltzer brand White Claw filed a copyright infringement lawsuit yesterday against a National Socialist black metal band of the same name,…
I get it. You see the corpse paint, the inverted crosses, the sheep’s heads skewered on mic stands, and you think, “Wow, this is one…
Black Metal is most closely associated with its geographical roots in Scandinavia. There has been, however, a growing contingent of the scene in the United…
NEW YORK — Self-described anti-fascist black metal band Ornamental Sun admitted that, although the group’s lyrics often detail horrifically violent scenes of dismemberment and torture…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Mayhem cover band Freezing Moon were found dead only a day before they were supposed to headline a local black metal festival,…
WASHINGTON — Parental groups across the nation are growing concerned about a new recording technique known as “frontmasking,” in which satanic messages are conveyed when…
LOS ANGELES — Black metal-themed coffee shop Welkin Thirst unveiled their newest drink today: a spiced latte, containing zested pieces of a rotting pumpkin, black-clad…
TRONDHEIM, Norway — Norwegian customs officials detained U.S. black metal band VVulfblud during their Scandinavian tour for not having any weapons on their persons whatsoever,…
International Essay Prize Awarded to YouTube Comment Explaining Why Deafheaven Isn’t Black Metal
MONTREAL — The internationally-recognized Rodgers-Mayhew Essay Award was given yesterday to SoundMatters99, a Youtube commenter who succinctly dissected the genre minutia of popular indie-metal band…