I keep getting your texts, but listen: you have no idea how busy I am online. There are so many podcasts to catch up on.…
CHARLEROI, Pa. — Lifelong punk Hunter Burchuk experienced the startling epiphany that moshing is “dumb as hell” during a recent local hardcore show, concerned friends…
KEENE, N.H. — Family court judge Deanna Westcock was unexpectedly persuaded to reconsider a tense custody battle following a stirring acoustic bass solo by the…
Yo there, Daddy-O, you seem like a mighty hep cat! I dig your pompadour and that vintage leather jacket. And are those 501s rolled up…
AUSTIN, Texas — Members of the instrumental post-rock band Explosions in the Sky condemned Hollywood’s current lack of emotionally resonant sports movies that would be…
CHICAGO — United Airlines unveiled a new ad campaign that will emphasize the length of time that’s passed since the coordinated attacks on the United…
I won’t lie, I definitely take better care of my dog’s health than I do my own. I want to ensure that he lives as…
GREAT BEND, Kan. — Neil Stamp, guitarist for local shoegaze band Quavver, intends to work on playing the guitar as soon as he settles on…
The Y2K bug was supposed to cause the end of the world. At least it was according to your parents’ stories of failing banks, planes…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Former President Joe Biden announced he is embarking on a new project designed to destroy the homes of innocent people living in…
WASHINGTON — The collection of white dorks that make up Elon Musk’s entourage asked for a significant raise if they are expected to publicly defend…
BEDFORD, N.Y. — Local black metal fan Dennis “Bjorn” Rubenstein celebrated the news of the Farmer’s Almanac forecasting a particularly harsh winter this year, several…
I don’t know why everyone always complains about how hard it is to quit smoking, I did it the first time no problem. All I…
CHICAGO — Nu-Metal band Disturbed revealed their 2000 hit “Down with the Sickness” was also a Simon and Garfunkel cover much like their 2015 hit…
WASHINGTON — Elon Musk’s double Nazi salute during today’s inauguration parade led to a tidal wave of approval amongst the nation’s potential school shooters, online…