STOCKTON, Calif. — Local ICE agent Tony Stockton added wounded veteran plates to his Ford F150 after getting his feelings hurt in what he referred…
Local Dad Matt Fredricksen was recently busted for eating all the Uncrustables at his daughter Kayla’s 5th birthday. Naturally, Matt’s antics have left the people…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — Suburban father Tyler Rainey expressed frustration over children’s lack of media literacy, despite firmly believing country singer Garth Brooks and his…
TOLEDO, Ohio — A local infant became the voice of the people as he wretched in discomfort and unleashed a harsh, ear-splitting wail reserved only…
As I ponder the waxing moon in contemplative solemnity, free of any obligations either vocational or especially social on this Friday evening with nothing to…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local reunion show for ska band Skattergories was reportedly ruined by all the ska music, confirmed sources who wondered when it…
OGDEN, Utah — A local mom offered her daughter some unsolicited advice this weekend, suggesting she might feel more confident about her body if she…
Being a parent in this day and age means constantly being aware of the internet’s ability to direct your impressionable children towards hateful ideologies and…
TRENTON, N.J. — Black metal band Kald Syk completely humiliated themselves by playing a song about Satan after opener Speared Side had already covered the…
NEW YORK — A new study from Columbia University revealed that millennials are still recovering from the trauma caused by the 1987 animated Disney film…
I still remember it to this day. I was sitting in homeroom, bored out of my fucking mind, when I heard my favorite band, Godsmack,…
LOS ANGELES — Activision announced that the remake of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3+4 will include a new playable character named Matt Fresh, who doesn’t…
RAQQA, Syria — Terrorist organization ISIS is taking credit for a stylish TikTok video showing masked figures successfully reattaching a man’s severed head, according to…
Most people will tell you Disney magic is something you only see in movies or after an unlicensed mushroom retreat. But to those cynics, I…
DENVER — A devastating 12-1 loss incurred by the Colorado Rockies at the hands of the Milwaukee Brewers was completely overshadowed by the DJ playing…