LOS ANGELES – Local ska enthusiast Claudia Lopez was given a surprise pair of checkered Vans made out of glass to wear to an upcoming music festival, enchanted sources report.
“You know how there’s always that one older person who hangs out at house shows, and you’re not really sure what their story is or where they came from? Well, I think that kindly old crone was my fairy godmother all along,” said Lopez excitedly, as she tried the Vans on and admired them in her bedroom mirror. “She gave me these shoes to wear to the festival, and some other magic stuff. Only thing is the spell wears off by midnight, and that might be a problem because I don’t think any of the bands will have gone on by then. Still, it was really cool of her.”
Brunhilde the Good Fairy of the North, a mystical being who likes to attend local ska shows for some reason, confirmed that she was the one who blessed Lopez with the magical gift.
“Claudia seems like a nice kid. The thing with the rats hanging around her sort of threw me at first, but I just assumed she was a crust punk. I thought she might appreciate my limited edition set of Vans that I’ve never really worn,” explained North, while casually levitating. “Even though part of the reason I gave them to her was because I just didn’t feel like making a trip to drop them off at Goodwill, I didn’t want her to think that. So I may have overcompensated a bit by going extra hard with the magic.”
Lopez’s oddly rat-like designated driver for the evening Mr. Crumbs weighed in on the fairy tale events.
“As someone who is clearly a normal human person, I can imagine getting a glass pair of shoes probably is not something that happens often,” said Crumbs bewilderedly, while licking both his hands and then using them to groom his mustache. “But frankly, I do not know what it is like to wear shoes. I also do not know how to drive a car. Don’t worry about it.”
At press time, Lopez was reportedly asked to change shoes by security due to the music festival not allowing glass inside the venue.