NEW YORK — The drummer for local hardcore band BlindBlind carefully tuned the snare in his kit last night to the tonic note of his band’s upcoming song, despite it making no difference to the overall sound whatsoever, attending audiophiles confirmed.
“It’s like, we’re a hardcore band — maybe even a noise band at this point — but we still have that element of melody and harmony happening underneath. So it’s real important those forte-forte-forte blast beats are on key,” said Mark Cress, BlindBlind’s drummer, as he applied a new strip of duct tape to the top of his snare. “We can’t have a pitch clash with the guitars… especially when they’re all in drop C.”
Cress, one of many Americans who claim to have “perfect pitch” as if anyone actually cares, is known to tune his kit multiple times per set, searching for the optimal tone.
“So this new song we’re doing, it goes into mixolydian… so I need to account for that lowered seven,” he explained, with inexplicable enthusiasm. “And I can totally hear the difference, so I know everyone else can, too. A lot of people tell me I’m wasting my time, and that they can’t actually tell, but they’re forgetting: sometimes it’s not about hearing the notes, but feeling them.”
Meanwhile, audience members almost unanimously agreed Cress wasted his time, and the time of everyone unlucky enough to attend the show.
“Dude, you can’t hear anything — he’s just smashing those drums as hard as he can, as fast as he can. There’s no distinguishable note, at all,” said audience member Chaundra Miganty. “They’re a bunch of morons. Oh, not to mention: their sound is like a wall of mud, anyway. They’re all playing through busted-up bass cabs. You can barely hear distinct notes on the actually tuned instruments, let alone the drums.”
Despite his efforts, during BlindBlind’s set, Cress was still disappointed with the sound mix, requesting “more snare-bottom mic in his in-ear monitors” from the nonexistent sound guy working the basement show.