NEW YORK – Members of Tomorrow’s Yesterday reluctantly confirmed that band leader Simon Martinez is absolutely 100 percent without a doubt sure that the 115th final Pro Tools mix is ready for the infamous car test, suggesting the band’s debut EP is finally entering phase two of mixing.
“It’s been a long time coming, but I’m confident that we can drop our first single by fall 2025,” said Martinez while purchasing a new suite of plugins with his credit card. “Sure, tracking was finalized a long time ago, but you can only make your first album once. Writing songs is one thing, but mixing is a whole other art form that requires patience, finesse, discipline, and dedication if you want to do it right. I know the guys are fed up with the process, but they’ll understand once they hear the final product. Tomorrow’s Yesterday is just getting started. But for now, it’s time to pop this baby in the aux of my 2008 CR-V.”
Frustrated lead guitarist Tommy Holdsworth has his doubts about Martinez actually pulling the trigger and finishing the album any time soon.
“It’s been three fucking years,” Holdsworth stated while scrolling endlessly in disbelief through a batch of session bounces titled “new final kick drum levels (final for real this time).” “I don’t even think anybody knows we’re still a band. And when the album finally does come out, I’m gonna have to relearn every single part because I’m not the fucking Rain Man. I’m also pretty sure he mixed the entire thing with his AirPods, so the car test is going to be a real eye-opener when he finally gets around to it.”
Studio owner and friend of the band Gary Lumens is willing to help Martinez see the project through for a nominal fee.
“For $500, I can have this thing flipped and radio-ready in a week. Most musicians have trouble letting outside parties work on their projects, but at what cost? I knew this project was in deep shit when Simon hit me up for advice on ‘balancing the compression of the delay trails.’ When I asked him how he approached the gain staging, his eyes completely glazed over as if I just asked him to crack the Enigma Code. Best case scenario, he wastes another year trying to get it right and seeks out a proper mix anyway.”
At press time, Martinez was spotted Googling “how to make guitar sound good free.”
Photo by Trevor O’Neill