29. Pusher
Pusher is definitely shady as fuck and would likely be the type to trip you and let you struggle to get back up, but he usually tends to get others to do his bidding via his telekinetic powers. Even if it was him, we wouldn’t be able to confront him. He’d just get us to break some dude’s nose and tell people we’ve been the crowd killer the whole time.
28. Jackson Van DeKamp
It’s very possible that Mulder and Scully’s allegedly half-alien son could be a merciless mosh terror. He’s got telekinetic abilities, the rage of a broken childhood, and a massive distrust of society and its ways. He also has the ability to cast illusions that hide his identity. Considering he faked his own death in an attempt to flee the Syndicate, it’s not likely he’d waste his time with this, however.
27. Alex Krycek
The only reason we would have trouble believing this guy isn’t a total fucking menace at every show he attends is due to the fact that he was shot dead by Skinner after failing to kill Mulder yet again. Still, if his apparition didn’t pass through every person it touched, you bet your ass he’d be knocking people over like dominoes in every club throughout the Pacific Northwest.
26. Lord Kinbote
Very little is known about Lord Kinbote. It’s rumored that he lives in the center of the Earth, rules over a bunch of aliens and is horny as fucking shit. If these unsubstantiated accounts are true, it’s possible that he is intentionally fucking shit up in an attempt to pull unsuspecting humanoids down to his ultimate circle pit, a.k.a interspecial sex dungeon.
25. Fox Mulder
Given the traumatic events in his life, Fox Mulder has absolutely every reason to blow off a little steam with a few spin kicks to some unsuspecting head. It doesn’t really seem to match his vibe, though. We’re not sure if Mulder has even seen a mosh pit, but chances are if he has, he probably spent most of the show trying to figure out the interstellar reasoning as to why heavier music makes everyone form circle pits.
24. Samuel Aboah
Fox Mulder claimed that Samuel Aboah was simply murdering people for their pituitary glands which he harvested via a metal rod and that everyone should just chill the fuck out about it or something. This is why Fox never accomplished anything meaningful in the entire series. Samuel apparently died in prison, but since we’ve been taught to trust no one, we’re pretty sure he’s high-strutting and knocking people the fuck out on a regular basis. Thanks, Mulder.
23. Chinga
Chinga is a sentient doll that has the ability to make people injure themselves compulsively. She just has to exist and watch everyone in the pit punch themselves into oblivion. Reportedly, many were seen tripping themselves while yelling ‘eat shit, newb’ as they fell to the ground during Sanguisugabogg’s set at Sound and Fury this year. Coincidence? We think not.
22. Toothpick Man
Once a member of a military court that sentenced Fox Mulder to death, Toothpick Man’s whereabouts have remained unknown since he was exposed as a secret Alien Super-Soldier. Seems pretty convenient if you ask us. How do we know that toothpick he twiddles around isn’t being shoved through some mosher’s neck right now?
21. Beggar Man
Beggar Man doesn’t have legs which makes it harder for him to spin kick his way through a crowd-killing rampage. That doesn’t clear him entirely, though. He does possess the ability to crawl inside people’s stomachs, which feels like a natural progression for people who start shit in the pit.