So you’re fighting with your partner again. They call you a narcissist but even though you’re the farthest thing from it–It’s not your fault you’re the coolest, hottest, guy to ever exist. Her comment is sticking in your mind, so here are the best Chris Farren songs to listen to while convincing yourself she’s wrong as usual.
“Don’t Be Cruel”
Picking this song shows that you’re there for your partner. You acknowledge their pain and don’t invalidate their emotions. Giving them support and space to experience self-doubt without making it about yourself is one of the least narcissistic things you could do.
“Can’t Die”
The grandiose idea of being above the inevitability of death will never steer you further away from narcissism. Did you pick this on accident? Despite the clear conflicting thoughts about Chris’s self-worth in this song, we know you skipped it after getting to the lyric “I Can’t Die.” Can’t take any risks of believing that here.
“Human Being”
It’s one of Chris Farren’s biggest songs so it’s a pretty obvious choice. It lets everyone else know that you may hold yourself a bit higher than them–But at least you want to feel human! Just like them! You want to relate but can’t and definitely won’t take it personally when people roll their eyes at you for this.
“I Was Amazing”
A down-to-earth song powered by an incredibly punchy drum machine–This song is the definition of punching up. You’re off your pedestal and can acknowledge the faults that make you less than “amazing.” However, you’re getting caught up with only yourself. It’s okay, you’ve still got time to improve.
“My Beauty”
Have we mentioned yet how Chris Farren is the most beautiful and talented musician alive? As the winner of this self-proclaimed award, it’s important to acknowledge the impermanence of this beauty. It keeps him humble. Being able to acknowledge that your beauty will one day fade away means you’re not a narcissist. Or at least a complete one. Yet.
“Like a Gift from God or Whatever” (feat. Jenny Owen Youngs)
The only God a real narcissist considers is themselves. This is a great pick for when you’re looking for praise from your friends for being brave enough to spend Christmas Eve alone. With the lyric, ‘Every Christmas Eve, Under the tree I hope you think of me,’ it’s hard not to feel like the bigger person for still thinking about your ex. Even if it is because last year you forgot to get your girlfriend a gift and blamed her.
“Chris Farren Noir”
Naming a song after yourself isn’t narcissistic if you’re writing a genre-defying, life-changing instrumental for a fictional spy movie where you play the lead. Chris has done no wrong here. Similar to how it’s okay to ruin your girlfriend’s birthday by slashing her tires for saying maybe you shouldn’t start a podcast.
“To Insecurity & Beyond”
A real middle-of-the-narcissism-road song here. Chris calls himself the “Champion of Giving Up” here. Nothing screams narcissism more than expecting pity from others for your own failures. However, if you’re gonna fail you’re gonna be the best at it. This would be higher on the list if not for Chris acknowledging his own insecurity in the song title.
“Say U Want Me”
“I need you most when you’re not around me” and “I wanna be your everything” are both part of a killer Chris Farren hook. They’re also both statements made by someone trying to play the victim. Which you are, but not in an unjustified way. If your partner wouldn’t be so difficult, then you wouldn’t have to plead with her so much.
“Surrender”
If you think listening to this song makes you less of a narcissist, you’re much further gone than you think. Just like how Chris’ (ex?) girlfriend in this song has driven farther away than believed to get away from him. You’ll be okay though, there’s nothing some love-bombing lyrics can’t fix.
“Love Theme from ‘Born Hot’”
Looking for a song for when you’re begging your partner to stay in love with you? This is the one! With a hook stating “Baby, let’s stay in love,” why would you bother to look any further! Send this to your partner when she still hasn’t forgiven you for punching her grandfather at a funeral, she should be over that by now.
“Everything’s My Fault”
Ah, yes. Your ex is blaming you for their heartbreak. Have they even considered how hard your life is? You’re perfect but it’s not enough for them. At least Chris gets it–You don’t need your relationship when you have this song. Backed by his beautiful vocals, Farren has written the perfect anthem for beautifully talented guys like you.
“Only U”
The phrase “Only you can get me through this life” is not the best one if you’re trying to convince someone you’re not totally self-absorbed. Especially if it’s while convincing them to skip their important work dinner to watch you drunkenly fail to FC any song on “Guitar Hero 2” all night. God, you do this every night and still can’t even get “Heart Shaped Box.” Let her go!
“Statue Song”
Feeling like a spectacle and wishing to be smaller is to be expected when you’re someone like Chris. If you pick this song, you can probably relate to being so much more talented and attractive than your adoring peers. Maybe this will show all the average Jo’s in your life just how difficult it is to be the greatest person alive.
“Death Don’t Wait (Main Title)” (feat. Laura Stevenson)
Everybody’s searching for you for every hour of their day. Even if for Chris’s spy character it’s because they’re trying to kill him, your stakes are just as high. Has Chris ever tried to hide in the bathroom at work because he didn’t prepare anything for the meeting? Maybe if he spent a day in his shoes he’d realize the fate you’ll meet is much worse than his.