20. Emery “The Weak’s End”
Sometimes there are anomalies in this life. I put this album on, and all three kids stopped what they were doing and sat stone-faced the entire time. Like they saw a ghost or some shit. Really really weird. I can’t get a read if they liked it or hated it. They said nothing. I’m honestly scared to do it again, so this will be the turning point from hate to like. What the fuck, Emery?
19. Dance Gavin Dance “Mothership”
I’m on the fence with this on. On the one hand, the lyrics contain some bad words that I don’t want the kids to learn… but on the other hand, only the oldest is good with numbers, so it would be good for his brothers to learn some math rock to pick up the slack. They like it because they say it sounds like Mega Man.
18. Story Of The Year “Page Avenue”
Listen kids, I’ll be damned if you grow up to like radio rock. Luckily, past the huge hit single, this album is a post harcore dream. When you’re older I’ll tell you about my time in the music industry and explain what royalties are. At least, what they used to be.
17. Cartel “Chroma”
I can’t decide what’s going to be harder to explain to kids born after 2018… what a MySpace Top 8 was, or why this band needed three guitarists. What I do know is I cannot pinpoint why they like some pop-punk bands and hate others. They like this one though.
16. Saosin “Self-Titled”
A lot of being a parent is stepping back from the hand-holding and letting your kids figure things out on their own. Sure, I could give a long-winded, dad explanation of what post-hardcore is, as I was born into it, molded by it; but it’s far better to learn that on your own. Also, bugs are cool.
15. Atreyu “The Curse”
If my kids learn one thing from me in my time with them, it’s that when done right, it’s an absolutely beautiful thing to behold the perfect blending of metal and hardcore. Cleans and screams aren’t just for tidying up the playroom, fellas.
14. The All-American Rejects “Self-Titled”
I had to change the name of this band to “The All-American Friends” so they don’t go calling another kid in their class a reject, so that may have had something to do with them liking this album.
13. The Distillers “Coral Fang”
There comes a time in every young boy’s life when he starts to go through… changes. You start noticing which genres of music you like, you start to question authority, school starts to seem pointless and monotonous. These feelings are completely normal. I just want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with liking pure, unfiltered, unbridled punk rock.
12. Pretty Girls Make Graves “The New Romance”
This album is super fun, so I’m actually pleasantly surprised they like it! The only downside is my oldest keeps asking why pretty girls make graves (and also, what’s a grave?), and it’s a conversation I’m not ready to broach yet. I just tell him that all the cute girls in his class will grow up to dig holes.
11. Mayday Parade “A Lesson in Romantics”
I’m having trouble pinpointing why the kids like this one so much. I have a sinking suspicion it’s because we live in Jersey and have a black cat. Kids like familiarity and seeing themselves in the art they consume. Or maybe they just like Mayday Parade; anything is possible I guess.
10. The Forecast “In The Shadow Of Two Gunmen”
My kids take this one a little too literally, specifically “It’s a Long Drive” when it’s around the corner, “Carry Me Home” when we pull in the driveway, and their favorite “A Fist Fight For Our Father(s)” when we get in the house.
9. State Champs “The Finer Things”
Boy do the kids love this one. I can only assume it’s because the music reminds them of the theme song to Mickey and the Roadster Racers.
8. We The Kings “Self-Titled”
My three little princes really like this one. While I wish they could stay young, they are growing up right before my eyes, forming their own musical opinions. Because they sure didn’t learn about cookie cutter pop punk from me. In fact, how did this album even come on?
7. Neck Deep “Life’s Not Out to Get You”
Lessons all over this one, including the album title. Life isn’t out to get you, smooth seas don’t make good sailors, and if you want a surefire way to make daddy skip a song, add Chris Carrabba to it. Just kidding, that song, this album, and this band rules. Kids agree.
6. Motion City Soundtrack “Commit This to Memory”
Dad likes this one, kids love this one. Songs like “Time Turned Fragile” pull at my heartstrings as a reminder to take advantage of every moment with them. Meanwhile, they love “Invisible Monsters,” despite making me check for them every night.
5. Simple Plan “No Pads, No Helmets…Just Balls”
It’s no wonder this album is so high on the list with songs like “Just a Kid” and “Grow Up,” but honestly, my kids love this one based on the title alone. Kids hate protective gear and rules, so being able to play without pads and helmets sounds fun. Also, balls are funny.
4. Coheed and Cambria “Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV, Volume One – From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness”
The longest album on the list, the kids love when this one comes on because it means we’re taking a road trip somewhere fun like Great Wolf Lodge or Wildwood. They may like it a little too much to be honest… while it is Coheed’s best album, no son of mine is going to grow up to be a child of the fence.
3. Movements “Feel Something”
Oh man, they’re BIG fans of this one. I played this one on the way to Legoland last fall, so they associate it with the Thruway North and the scenery of upstate New York’s picturesque backroads. That something they’re feeling will be nostalgia later in life. So… mission accomplished.
2. Jimmy Eat World “Bleed American”
This one is a major winner. Even Daddy has to admit that this album grew on him after initially hating on its mainstream success. My oldest changed the words to “I’m not alone because my tablet’s on.” Although I’m more partial to Mellencamp’s “Authority Song,” strictly from a parent’s POV.
1. Thursday “Full Collapse”
I must be doing something right as a parent, because the boys love this one. It may just be instinctual… since we live in New Jersey, everyone is born loving Thursday. Unfortunately, I usually skip “Understanding in a Car Crash’ just because I don’t want to get too existential on the way to the park, and the chorus hits me right in the heartstrings by reminding me how fast time flies.
Does anyone know if the festival is livestreaming any of these sets?