Press "Enter" to skip to content

MMORPG Player Accidentally on Day 32 of Self Quarantine

ATLANTA — Local World of Warcraft player John Fleming was on his 32nd day of self quarantining when he learned about the COVID-19 pandemic early this morning, according to those familiar with the situation.

“I’ve been grinding it out in-game with my guild, trying to prepare for this big raid we’re working on. I haven’t left my apartment in over a month, I’ve just been ordering delivery every day and focusing on WoW. That’s when I learned about the virus,” Fleming said. “I thought something was fishy when my weekly order of 20 rolls of toilet paper didn’t go through, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”

Many members of Fleming’s World of Warcraft guild expressed concern over Fleming’s discovery of the coronavirus just today.

“It’s definitely a little scary that Fleming didn’t know about this until now,” said night elf archer player Sarah Walton. “I knew about this months ago and I made a vow to not let it affect my WoW playing. But what if this distracts John? Our big raid is tomorrow and we can’t have this pandemic shit freak any of us out.”

“The safest place we can be right now is Azeroth,” said dwarf paladin Frank Hunt. “Thankfully, that’s where we have all been for roughly the last ten years. So I don’t think it’s even possible for us to get coronavirus. I haven’t interacted with people in months.”

 

As of press time, Fleming announced plans to just wait out the pandemic for the next two years or so.

Listen to the newest episode of our podcast, The Ace Watkins Presidential Hour:

Shop The Hard Drive Webstore Relaunch

Want to support Hard Times? Buy a shirt. We’ll use the money to write more articles.