Press "Enter" to skip to content

Magicians Report Having Received No Benefit From Rise of Nerd Culture

NEW YORK — Following the mainstream popularity of nerd culture in the form of blockbuster movies and roleplaying games, magicians report absolutely no increase in coolness whatsoever, with many sources claiming things are “worse than they’ve ever been.”

“Everywhere you look now, you see stuff that nerds used to get bullied for. They sell Dungeons and Dragons at Target. But where’s the illusions? Where’s the magic?” said local magician Angelo The Mystical, who refused to provide his real name for this piece. “The kids these days love Dr. Strange, but have no respect for real magicians, who are like Dr. Strange but even cooler. By the way, was this your card?”

The sentiment has become common amongst magicians, who complain that things have only gotten worse since their peak with David Blaine and Criss Angel.

“When I tell people I’m a magician they used to say, ‘Oh, like Mindfreak?’ but now it’s like they don’t care,” said birthday party performer Jonathon Carlisle. “Frankly, I don’t think that’s fair. You think children want to see some guy dressed up as a comic book hero walking around? No! They want the real deal. They want… MAGIC!” he bellowed, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Carlisle allegedly reappeared moments later in his Toyota Yaris, where he changed into his Dr. Strange costume for the next party.

 

Listen to the season finale of our podcast, The Ace Watkins Presidential Hour:

Shop The Hard Drive Webstore Relaunch

Want to support Hard Times? Buy a shirt. We’ll use the money to write more articles.